Love You More than I Love Bagels and Cream Cheese
by SuperAlex64
Summary: What if Polly went with Feathertop when he was taken to see Count Grisham?


**And the award for Worst Fanfic Title goes to, not this one, surprisingly enough. I am so disappointed.**

**What is this thing based on? Some old kids movie called 'The Scarecrow'. Yes, really. Is it good? Ehhh... depends on your perspective on things, I mean, it could have easily made my 'this Movie Sucks' list but, it didn't. Mostly because it made me laugh. Seriously, it is like the greatest Dorothy-Scarecrow crackfic ever put on film. Yeah, that's a pretty good description of the thing.**

**So, it's loosely, and when I say loosely, I really mean loosely, based on some play based on some story about some scarecrow named Feathertop. Yeah...**

**So, why did I write this? Well, I was kinda disappointed that Polly didn't find out about Feathertop. So, this ended up happening. Granted, a part of me thinks she would've fainted (Just like in the actual story) but, I'm a happily ever after type of girl, so yeah.**

**Let's try to make it out of this alive.**

**Don't own anything, not even a copy of the movie (Saw on YouTube)**

* * *

What a night, first he got to dance with Polly, the girl he loved, for a contest and won, then thanks to the prize money, she'll finally be able to buy her and those three orphans' freedom in the morning and then, finally, now that they confessed their love for each other, they're going to get married afterwords. As soon as they got back to that rundown shack that she had to live in with the orphans, they danced a short but romantic dance and as they gazed into each other's eyes, they leaned in for a long romantic kiss. His very first kiss ever, though, he did wonder if Polly would kiss him like that again if he told her the truth about himself. He did want to tell her but...

Perhaps that doesn't matter yet, all that matters is that they are together. Suddenly, a horse drawn carriage drove up to them before Polly could get inside and the driver said to the young man, "I'm sorry, Master Feathertop, Count Grisham would like to see you."

Looking up at the older man, Feathertop replied, "You know, I'd love to but, I have a very big day tomorrow," politely backing away while wondering what Grisham would want with him. But he was forced into the carriage, Polly knew she had to come along for the ride, after all, she was curious about why Grisham wants to see Feathertop, probably had something to do with her, no doubt. So she pushed her way into the carriage and away they went. She is so gonna give Grisham a piece of her mind.

The older driver, as he drove them back to his master's mansion, couldn't help but listen to Feathertop and Polly's conversion.

"Too bad that this dress I'm wearing is the closest thing I have to a wedding dress, huh?"

"No, it's fine, I think you look beautiful in anything you wear."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah."

Already making wedding plans, the driver heard, he knew that Count Grisham was really not going to like this, especially since it is clear by the way they talking to each other, that they are in love. But, he had a job to do and that is to bring the couple to the mansion, well, technically, he didn't have to bring Polly along, but he knew that she would want to be in on this, too. Even, if his master will most likely throw a childish tantrum upon discovering their plans.

"How dare you humiliate me?!" Grisham shouted at Feathertop, not noticing Polly next to him, "Me? The greatest dancer in all the Milky Way!" he continued, gesturing towards himself, not letting the very thought of 'some people got it and some people don't' cross his mind, then pointed at his supposed rival, continuing on with his rant, "And you with all your silly, little, twitchy, goofy, jivey, hip-hop trash!" making him come off as a major whinier. Then walking up to him, with as much menace as a man of his standing could possibly have, said in a low voice, "You should've left town as per my suggestion, Feather-chump!" purposely mangling the younger man's name, his strange man.

Seeming oblivious to the rich man's rudeness, Feathertop, in his ever-cheerful voice, said, "I'll be gone soon enough," he then gestured to the one female in the room, "Polly's buying his freedom in the morning and," he paused for a moment, chuckling, putting his arm around his brunette sweetheart, "Then, we're getting married." The way he said that by the end seemed to indicate that he wasn't much too impressed by Count Grisham.

Giggling, Polly added, "In the chapel, well, good night, Count Grisham," and with that, the pair turned around and were about to walk out that door.

As soon as they said that, Grisham was completely flabbergasted at this. How dare this out of no where appearing hoofing upstart steal his girl? Especially one that didn't look like much. Really, 'Feathertop'? What kind of name is that? But no matter, as soon as he turned around and saw them head for the exit, Grisham could feel an extremely jealous rage coming on. Quickly, running toward the pair, pulling Polly away from Feathertop and managed to block the doorway, shouting, "You're not going anywhere, PAL!" obviously using the word 'pal' in an ironic sense. Then Grisham rather roughly pushed him pushed away from the door, ignoring Polly's protests, and managed to intimidate the stranger and got him to the middle of the room, while asking, "Do you know who I AM?!" when grabbing some fancy rope that was conveniently hanging there, shouted out angrily, "WELL, TAKE A LOOK!" and yanked at the rope, causing the red curtains to go up and reveal the mirrors underneath, both to prove a point and to show off what a narcissist Grisham is.

Polly couldn't help but roll her eyes at this and was about to walk up the rich man to give him a piece of her mind but when she saw what was in the reflection, she couldn't move, just standing and staring, wide eyed at her future husband, and couldn't even suppress her shocked gasp.

Feathertop didn't seem to notice the discrepancies in his reflection because he was more focused on Polly, who just there looking scared, then he saw it. His true reflection in all its burlap-y, ragged glory. The truth is Feathertop isn't an actual man at all and that he is, in fact, an enchanted scarecrow. He couldn't help but look around at his own reflection which was everywhere in this mirror room, while softly whispering, "No," over and over again. As much as he did want tell her the truth, this was so not how he wanted her to find out. Quickly, he ran for the door, only to find that it wouldn't budge but, still he persisted on trying to escape from the situation.

Grisham, at first, was shocked at this revelation, after all, him completely with a walking, talking scarecrow, until he realized that he had been competing with a scarecrow, which he started laughing hysterically at this. "Polly?" he asked, still laughing, the girl who couldn't seem to take her eyes off from the scene, "You fell in love with a scarecrow?!" He didn't even let her answer, he just kept on laughing cruelly at all this as his eyes wandered back to the exposed scarecrow, who was still trying to open the door, and noticed that while Feathertop's human and scarecrow forms couldn't have more different, there was one similarity and was that sky blue feather that was stuck to his hat. "Oh, course, Miss Bee Bee! And that's her feather!" he exclaimed, still laughing like a maniac. As soon as Feathertop managed to escape from the room, Grisham then decided that it was to get serious for reals and said in his low voice, "Get the feather." And what Grisham wants, his bird will deliver.

In a panic, Feathertop managed run out front door, but when he got to the gates, he found that it was locked. Knowing that he was being chased, he did what he had to do. He climbed up the gates but, as soon as he got to the top, the bird flew right to him off the other side of the gate while stealing the magic feather from his hat. By the time, he fell to the ground, he was back to looking like a scarecrow again. Looking back toward the mansion, Feathertop saw Grisham holding his feather in his hand, in triumph, even went as far as to gloat about it. But, the scarecrow didn't pay attention to him, he was more focused on the girl, who stood near the rich man. They looked at each other, into their eyes, as shame began to flood through his veins. if he had veins. When Grisham shouted out, "Hey! Pay attention when I'm gloating!" snapped him back into reality, he did the one thing he could do in this situation: he run off into the night, but not before shooting Polly another look.

Smirking, Grisham went up to Polly, not noticing that she was deep in thought, and said to her, "Not that, that thing's out of the picture," forcibly grabbing hold of her hands, ignoring that glare she shot at him, "Lets you and me get together now." Even as far as to attempt to get closer to her with that grin of his. Suddenly, Polly made her decision, she knew what she had to do.

No regrets.

"Oh, I can't believe I did that!" Polly shouted as she ran from the mansion. She actually knocked Grisham out! She couldn't believe it, sure, her patience for him had run out, but did she really need to hit him that hard? Luckily, the people who worked there at the mansion were able to get him to bed and nurse him back into consciousness, even if he is kind of nutso. Hopefully, this won't affect her too much tomorrow. She needed to buy her and those three orphans their freedom and they can finally leave Grisham Heights. Yes, the richest man in town named it after himself. Just lovely. There was another matter that she had to think about for tomorrow. As it turned out, the love of her life is an enchanted scarecrow, in fact, it was the one that she could talk to when she would bury the money she had been saving and since she liked to pretend he was real, she had him guard the money. Well, that explains why after she lost her money, the scarecrow was gone and why Feathertop was so willing to help her. It also explained why it felt like she knew him since forever and that connection they had was very real. Polly couldn't help but smile as she thought of the good times she had with that scarecrow way back when she thought he was just a scarecrow, but was still a true, true friend. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks as she remembered something she did the other night: she hugged him, telling him, "I love you." What if he was alive at that point? Luckily for her, there was no one around to see the bright red blush that was overtaking her face.

She was on her way to figure out where Feathertop ran off to. Hopefully, he's okay. She wanted answers and reassurance and to apologise. All this happened and all she could do was just stand there like an idiot, she felt ashamed. That's when she realised that those feelings she had for Feathertop were still burning bright and with that, she tried even harder to find him so, she could talk to him. Looking up, she saw that she was nearing the hovel, where she and the orphans had to live in, already, which meant that she was close to the field where Scarecrow or Feathertop, if he prefers, stood in. He might not be there but, it's worth a shot to look. A thought just crossed her mind, normally, she would be asleep by now but, here she was, looking for a magical, walking, talking scarecrow, while wearing the nicest dress she owned. Nevertheless, she headed for that field. As she got closer, she heard something that she never want to hear ever again: the sounds of heartbroken sobs.

It was Feathertop, sitting in front of his old stand, knees up to his chest, looking completely miserable. The very sight broke Polly's heart, after all, this is a very sharp contrast to the boy with very infectious happiness that she met. She then watched him some more. There she saw he berate himself and heard him mention something that genuinely upset her: "Now, an angry mob'll be after me... again."

Polly thought about this, she had heard something about a mob but, she didn't know why. Were they after Feathertop? Perhaps a magical walking, talking, scarecrow in town would elicit the response of an angry mob, but now the question was why was he in town in the first place. So, she decided that now was the time to walk up to him and hopefully talk to him.

Distressed over what had happened, Feathertop was busy looking down at himself, so focused on himself that he almost didn't notice the bottom of a yellow skirt in front of him. Slowly looking up, he saw that it was Polly, looking at him with a very concerned look in her eyes, but he quickly averted her gaze. It didn't quite work as she then sat right next to him, risking dirtying her nicest dress, but that didn't matter, she just wanted to talk to him.

"So...," she began, noting just how awkward this was becoming, "Feathertop... you were a scarecrow this whole time?" She then looked at him, waiting for an answer for this relatively obvious question but, Feathertop pretty much stayed quiet until he muttered under his breath, "...Yeah...," but he still wouldn't look at her.

She then asked, "Were you alive this whole time?" now very curious about her companion.

"Not at first, but when the witch brought me to life," Feathertop explained, starting to look up, "I was real excited about it," he even started to smile at the memory, "Even thought about talking to you but, Miss Bee Bee said that was a terrible idea so, I never did until now. But as the years went by, I did learn how to have as much fun as I can possibly have at night."

Polly then remember some nights where she heard some happy shouts and some random songs from a distance if she listened hard enough, then she realised that he wanted to talk to her for years. That just seemed so sad and he was still able to be very cheerful all these years later, it's just simply impressive. One would have expected that he would've become more cynical, but instead that cheerful bundle of dancing energy that she knew. But why couldn't he talk to her, sure, being an enchanted scarecrow would be weird but, just why?

"So, why couldn't you talk to me?"

"Oh, because," Feathertop, now somewhat relaxed, cheerfully explained, "She said that you would completely freak out, scream to everyone about witchcraft and I would most likely get burned alive." That last part had a bit more of a sarcastic edge.

"That... that's a good point," Polly mused, figuring that does make a whole lot of sense but, now she wouldn't really have the heart to do that now and become burning alive, talk about horrific. But she added, in the hopes of lighting the mood, "I think I would freak out some if you had a pumpkin for a head."

He really seemed to think about this, feeling about his face, considering the possibilities of being a pumpkin headed scarecrow. Judging by how his eyes slowing widening in horror, Feathertop really didn't like the idea.

Giggling at this and wanting to change the subject, Polly said, "You know you spent years listening to me, now I'm gonna do the same to you."

"Uh, what?"

"Well," she explained, smiling at him, "I'm very sure that you got some interesting stories so, now's your chance to tell them," when she saw his smile in understanding, she added, "Come on, I'm listening, now my dear sweet Feathertop, it's your time to shine!"

And so Feathertop began telling his story, featuring his two closest friends in the whole world, a very cynical talking mouse and a magical flying broom that really likes girls. Golly, what a ragtag group of misfits these three are? He even talked about how the witch taught him how to dance and apparently this is the same person who taught Grisham how to dance. But, she ended up going into hiding after he learned some magical dance moves, steps designed to make the partner fall madly in love with the dancer. Polly nodded in understanding but it slowed as the horror of what he just said set it.

"He danced with me and I started feeling really weird," she said, clearly started to freak out, voice starting to get louder, "He was trying to brainwash me! UGH!"

Feathertop then calmly replied, "Then it's a good thing that I managed to cut in before that happened," to which, they both shuddered together.

"Why were you late anyway?"

"Grisham," was his response said in a way that was to explain everything, in which, it honestly did.

"Figures... but what don't you know those dance moves since you were taught by the same person?"

"Nope, she kept these book as far from me as humanly possible, besides even if I did know those moves, I would feel pretty guilty about it."

"Well then," she said, satisfied with his response, as she started snuggling up to him, "Thank you for saving my life." Clearly, she knew what's up, not needing her life to be completely ruined by Grisham.

"You- you're welcome," he replied, somewhat uncomfortable but liking it, and with that he continued on with his story, after a few misadventures that the three would have from time to time and avoid getting caught that he briefly touched upon, he began talking about how her boss had the nerve to try to steal her coins and how he decked the man for it. Scarecrow coming to life and punching him in the face, that was probably freaked him out for life. After that, apparently, Feathertop, or Scarecrow as he was called then, went off to get the coins to her but, ended up losing it to Grisham's bird, by the end. Then her boss had a mob after him so, naturally, he ran back into the cottage but, with an angry mob on his tail, he needed a way out of this. Apparently, the witch left a message of sorts, detailing a way to make him look human, after a few agonizing minutes, the solution was revealed: a magic feather. So when the boss man with his personal angry mob managed to break in and saw a normal looking young man instead of that scarecrow demon, that they were promised, they were now pretty much convinced that the boss man was crazy. Granted, not Grisham's level of insanity but, it was up there. Didn't help that Feathertop, whose name was pretty much a line-of-sight name which explains the oddness that everyone was too polite to acknowledge, acted like he had no idea why this crazy guy thinks he's a scarecrow. Next morning, he tried to earn back the money that was stolen and that's how they met, for the first time, it seemed.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind and Polly just had to ask, "Wait, you don't suppose... the prize money was my money, right?" After just looking at each other in silence, they decided that he had. Crossing her arms, she said, "Well, now I wish I hit him harder."

"Whoa, Sweet and Noble Polly becoming violent? What will people say?" asked Feathertop, in mock horror.

"Oh, ha, ha," she said, putting her hands on her hips, then realised that she forgot something important back at Grisham's mansion, something that was mentioned in that story. She then shouted out, "I left your feather at Grisham's! How could I forget it?"

"Okay then, I'll try to get it back before morning then," he said, then looked up and realised just how late it was, and added, "You better go back, it's very late and you've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

"Oh, of course, first, I'll buy my and the orphans' freedom, then I'm getting married."

"Wait, WHAT!?"

"Hey, we made a deal," she said, "Or at least, a romantic kind of deal, wasn't that what you said."

"Yeah, but-" he started before getting cut off by Polly suddenly kissing him on the lips or whatever he had, taking him completely off guard. There's something weird about all this but, what was it? When she stopped, he managed to say to her, "You better go back."

"But, what about you?" Polly asked, in a concerned voice.

"I'll just what I always do," he replied, shrugging while gesturing behind him, "I just hang around here."

"Maybe, you should go stay inside at the cottage, please for me?"

"...Okay, I guess," he replied and with that, they got up and began to walk into their separate ways, Polly towards that hovel and Feathertop towards the cottage. "Well, at least, I found a good reason to go into town again," he said, making her laugh and after that, they said their goodbyes and with that they waited for the most exciting morning of their lives.

* * *

**'And at some point, during the night, Count Grisham broke into the cottage, tied Feathertop up and was prepared to set fire to everything and everything after happened more or less how it happened in the movie, give or take some dialogue changes.'**

**And done, so did you survive?**


End file.
